the uninvited editor

when last we met, many moons ago, i was bitching about cubicle life and all that it entailed. and now, you will be excited to know that i will now be bitching about the lack of cubicle life! yes, it’s true - the uninvited editor has officially transitioned to the unemployed editor. as you can see, my state of uninvitedness has grown! i try not to brag.

this is my first official day of idleness. i woke up early and wrestled it to the ground. i went for a run around the block at 9am. (yes, one block. believe me, it was plenty.) i put all my documents in order, donned my most pathetic outfit (so many to choose from!) and began the walk through my favorite sunny park to the unemployment office with a skip in my step. there were other people around, and they all seemed cheery. adorable children! crotchety old men who refuse to walk with canes! retirees playing tennis! various people like myself who should have been working! on the way i imagined this blog post, and realized that i haven’t been blogging because i feel that blog posts should a) be witty and b) have a point. at least, the old, gainfully employed me thought that. but no more! one need not be “witty” or “interesting” or “half-way lucid.” one does not need to have “a point.” that’s cubicle thinking! no, the new me can just “be”!!!

[this may well mean that the readership of this blog will dwindle from its present, oh, three, to about zero. great! that’s fine! i don’t need you and your judginess! get back to work!]

ANYWAY. when i got to the unemployment office, i was told that i had to come back at one, because “he” was about to go out to lunch. it was 11.30. wait, whuh? there’s ONE DUDE processing applications, in a freakin RECESSION? damn. that is lame. the guy said i was welcome to hang out in the meantime, and maybe do some job searching, and gestured toward the roomful of industrious jobseekers tapping away on their keyboards. that looked a little too much like work, and sort of depressing. it would totally ruin the temporary high of navigating this brave new world. so i figured i’d come back here and write about this exciting experience instead, before i lose my nerve and try to get “witty” again.

by the way, i totally know that i could do all of this unemployment stuff over the phone, or maybe even those amazing internets. yes, but then i’d have NOTHING to write about, would i? and THEN where would we all be? i shudder to imagine.